I am a fake!!

So, it says 'German' on it but there is no German in it. That's me. I am a fake.

I've got proof in my passport and even my birth certificate states that I am.....but I am not. I feel soooo not German. I don't understand the Germans. OMG!! They are obsessed with order and doing everything by the rules...it drives me mental. Or better: it drives them mental when their order is lost or someone prevents them from keeping it.

Went to a viewing yesterday. A room in a shared flat. Nothing too exciting. I thought....
I was almost interrogated!! OK, i did expect the cleaning rota but what I didn't expect was the care and perfection with which the common bills are being sorted out!!! Eerie. If you rent a bedroom of say 11sqm your rent seems quite low. And that is fine. But then add the utitility bills which are being split into 'absent' and 'present' days in the flat...which is then applied to the usage of water and heat etc. That means it is meticulously calculated how many days of waste water and and fresh water you have to pay for and the heating is calculated per room (because in this country you are the master of your radiator) and not per flat...
I didn't dare ask how the usage of the kitchen is being calculated because I had almost peed in my pants, I was sooo scared of that rationality behind thoses people's trains of thought. It  must be added those, that those tenants were very young and had neither life nor experience from being abroad. So, they probably acted to the best of their knowledge.

I should act to the best of my knowledge as well and get the f... out of here...!!!!


The only consolation: I am by far not the only one who feels this way...my English colleagues and I have a blast taking the piss out of the Germans.....

Friendly but determined

Being German in a foreign country can be difficult at times, specifically when you are constantly reminded of historic events that lie more than 60 years in the past.

But what is it like being an ex-pat German returning to Germany? Should be easy. Cos your German. So, you should be fine. It's your culture and your people.

But what if I am not???
I have been discribed as a "cosmopolitain", a citizen of the world, with a very open and broad mindset; as someone for whom it is natural to adapt to different cultures and peoples.
But what if this time I can't adapt to a culture - my native culture - because I have outgrown it?

And what if all the stereotypes I have been trying to defer in my lessons actually hold true? What if I - the ex-pat of almost 9 years - now find that those stereotypes actually are real???

At this stage, being in Germany for only four days, I feel confused and in limbo. I had to switch to autopilot the minute I got here because I had sooo many things to organize and register for....a nightmare. I just wanted to scream and run away but obviously I couldn't.

The Germans I have met so far are soooooo German: they are always right, they take everything sooooo seriously - especially their jobs and their positions, they are meticulous about details and argue for arguing's sake.
Best example yet: My future boss and her secretary (who both take their positions and responsibilities very seriously) argued for about 15min about a folder, yes, a folder, and how this folder should be organized, also whether it should be a slim or a fat folder, and where exactly this particular folder should be placed on a shelf.

I was laughing and crying at the same time and just thought: "Beam me up, Scotti!Please!!"

I think I am in culture shock. I have forgotten what it was like to be a German in Germany. I feel nauseous physically and mentally.

I can just sit and watch at this stage and see how things develop. So far....not so great.

We will see what the weekend will bring.
xxx